In God's Eyes: Overcoming Negative Self-Image

If there’s one thing I’ve struggled a lot with, it’s self-image. There are so many things I feel like I’m just not good at and so many flaws I see in myself.

When I was a kid, I hated being gangly and having “noodle arms,” as my oldest sister called them. I hated having freckles. I hated that I couldn’t make beautiful art like my siblings could. I hated that I was always injuring myself due to my clumsiness.

I would constantly compare myself to my sisters—and even sometimes to my brothers—thinking they were so much better at playing piano than I was or that I wished I was liked by everyone like they were.

I struggled with taking compliments because I honestly thought people were just messing with me.

I was always thinking that if I could just be someone else, my life would be so much better.

As I’ve grown, both physically and in my walk with God, I’ve gradually come to a place of acceptance.

God’s made it clear over and over that he has a deep and unwavering love for me. He doesn’t just love me when I’m at my best, he loves me when I’m at my lowest, and if that’s not enough for me, then THAT’S my problem. Jesus loves me with all my faults, and if I choose to reject the way He sees me, that’s technically putting myself above God. That’s me saying “you’re wrong” to my creator.

In Psalm 139:13-14, it says, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

Fearfully and wonderfully made. In God’s eyes, that’s what I am.

Every time I think badly of myself in that way, I’m letting Satan get a hold on me, and the more I do it, the easier I make it for him to steer me off course. The devil is persistent, and he wants my thoughts to be on anything but my Saviour.

That’s something that’s been on my mind often lately—and I’ve been wrestling with how to overcome it. I’ve come to the conclusion that the closer I get to Christ, the more comfortable I’ll be with who I am in Him. In the last year especially, I’ve been focusing on reading my Bible more, praying more, opening up to people even when I’m honestly scared to, and just constantly giving myself the reminder, “Nope, don’t go there.”

It’s a battle that’s taking a long time to win, but if I focus on Jesus and keep making small steps in the right direction, He will guide me through.

— Abigail