Wilderness Seasons: Staying Close to Jesus

I’ve been thinking a lot about wilderness seasons recently. I know so many people who are coming out of them and others who are right in the middle of them. One of my dear friends recently told me that she had been going through a spiritually dry season, and although she was coming out of it, she missed the closeness she felt with Jesus in it.

I wanted to grab onto my friend and just shake my head and say, “Yes. I get that. Yes, yes, yes.”

I’ve been through a lot of wilderness seasons in my almost twenty years of life—a lot of really long, hard seasons of struggling. I feel like though, especially for the past year, my perspective on my journey through those hard places has really changed. 

Before, I saw wilderness seasons as just a miserable place to be in that held no purpose. 

Now, I realize that those seasons are only purposeless when I view them as a waste of time rather than a place to encounter God in. 

And even though I don’t miss those times of just feeling spiritually depleted, I honestly miss the closeness I feel with Jesus in those places. Where He’s the One I’m so dependent on for strength. Where I have a desperation to spend time in His Word and a longing to hear His voice speak to me. Where talking with God in prayer isn’t an afterthought—it’s the one thing that’s constantly on my mind.

Wilderness seasons aren’t comfortable—but God is my comforter in them.

Wilderness seasons are draining—but God is my strength in them.

Wilderness seasons are confusing—but God is my peace in them.

I don’t miss the hard things I had to walk through, and God doesn’t expect me to. But I do miss that dependence on Him. I want to stay just as dependent on Him in the Promised Land as I am in the wilderness. Honestly, that’s a struggle for me because I can get so caught up in what’s happening in my life that I lose that yearning for Him. 

How do I keep pursuing God with the same fervor that I do when I’m not feeling desperate for Him? Something I’m beginning to learn is this: dependence isn’t an emotion; it’s a posture.

That sounds so easy to say, but it’s so hard to live. It’s hard to make the choice to be desperate for God when the emotions aren’t there. It’s hard to long to grow closer to Him when life isn’t falling apart. I get it. But if I really want to stay close to Jesus, I have to be intentional about prioritizing the same things I do when in hard places—praying and reading His word. Because my heart’s desire will ultimately reflect how I spend my time. And if my desire is to be with Jesus, then how I'm spending my time should reflect that longing.

I don’t want God to have to drag me into the wilderness in order to get my attention. I want Him to have all of me. All of my life, my time, my decisions, my desires, my priorities. I truly want to be able to say to God in the valley and the mountaintop, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.” I’m here. I’m listening. I’m willing. 

For those of you who are in the wilderness right now, I truly understand how hard it can be. And I want you to know that Jesus is always praying for you. Hebrews 7:25 says, “He [Jesus] lives forever to intercede with God on our behalf.” 

Jesus is fighting in prayer for you—and He’ll never stop. 

Thanks for reading,

Caitlin M.